Acquaintances of mine know this isn’t too big of a secret, I’m an asshole. But what you may NOT know if that I am a regular Troll. So, I’ve decided to catalog my Trolling exploits as a new segment called “Tales of the Stupid.”

In today’s TotS, we have a facebook group. Called Obama Sucks.

Let me take the time to reiterate that I am not a Close-minded robot Obama Supporter. No, the reason I chose this group is because of shit like this:

Oh Shit. Oh Shit. Oh Shit.

Oh. Shit.

Well to start off my exploits I simply said to these folks “Hey, Obama is awesome and you are all stupid LOLOLOL.”

I didn’t really get much of a response. So I decided to change my tactics a little. I decided to post on every single entry one word. “Racist.”

Now, these folks aren’t really racist,

But, Oh shit, they are.

…

GOLD.

So I decided to give up on conventional trolling. And I dropped the Atom Bomb of Trolls. I make an account identical to one of the ring leaders.

Oh Shit, guys.

Oh Shit, guys.

Oh Shit, guys.

For a little recap of things everyone knows,

Old people (Near-deads) don’t really understand how to use computers or anything about them, so they hear about things on the news and instantly think it’s the same thing. I.E. Hackers. Everyone knows a hacker is someone who uses code to access administrative control.

Now, a multi-million dollar, and a several Million user website like Facebook has pretty beefy security. Keep in mind that Hacking to to access administrative control to gain access to information like passwords, etc.

For your average High-School student to crack into a website like Facebook would be equivalent to a three-month old turd to crack the Government’s complex network of computers.

However, according to the near-deads on this group, doing something that a person who can barely operate an automobile can do is HAX.

America's Youth.

But first, this.

This is an obvious photoshop of the first couple at a dinner or ceremony of some sort.

HOT

NOW LOOK AT THE FUCKING COMMENTS

OH SHIT

...

I…I just…

I can’t even…

There are just so many…

But if she…

MOVING ON.

I posed as our friend Brian (Who posted a government picture of himself saying “DON’T COPY THIS PICTURE OR I CALL POLICE! HURR” You guys know what to do.) and starting posting messages like

“Hey guys, sorry I’m such a flaming doucher, it’s just, I’m so lonely…And I work at a grocery store”

Unfortunately, screenshots of those have been lost to the sands of time (The admin deleted them.) However! After I did that, I posed as a 97 year old woman, saying racist and braindead things. More on that later.

Finally, before I wrap up this post, I’m going to share one of the latest posts on the wall that sums up everything about that group.

There is no goddamn way...

You see, guys, youth like that are everything that is wrong with this country.

Earlier, there was a 13 year old girl on there saying “Someone should kill him hurr durr”

Which wraps up the funny portion,

It doesn’t matter whether or not you like his politics, those are things that crazies say, and they say things like “Oh, you just said the same things to Bush.”

Some things, yes, but you never heard of anyone trying to bring a gun into a Bush rally. Only Shoes. And nobody hated Bush only because he was white. They hated him because he lacked intelligence.

-F.R.A.N.C.O.

Now back to the funnies.

This section is going to be constantly updated with things that my 97 year old character “Gertrude McNurny” posts to walls on that group. None as of yet. But Soon, friends. Soon.